I was talking with a friend of mine recently who reminded me of something that I often forget. She reminded me that I’m a good person. It might seem self-aggrandizing, but I write this because I sometimes forget that I am not my problems or mistakes. I may fall, but I do eventually get back up. I may not be doing the most, or even my best, at any given moment, but that doesn’t make me lazy or worthless; it makes me human.
Some of you may be rolling your eyes or clicking to another tab, but I’m certain there’s someone out there who would benefit from reading this. Lately, I’ve been able to proudly say that I feel grounded. A few years ago, I would practice yoga and meditation, clinging to the crumb of stability I thought it brought me. Now, I roll my eyes at my past self and zer foolishness. No amount of downward dog will answer the questions of “Who am I?” and “What do I want?” Meditation could have gotten me there, but I needed to make some mistakes to really learn the lessons yoga, meditation and other people had to offer. I finally know that a ground exists and I’ve actually felt it. Not only have I felt it, but I have a foothold and path to follow. There’s no light up ahead that I’m reaching for. Instead, there’s light all around me, and I too am light.
How can I best
support you right now?
My friend also gave me some excellent advice about how to communicate with others, but especially with loved ones. She said, “If you ever find yourself getting riled up over a conversation and feel that the conversation is turning into an argument, just say, ‘This may sound weird, but I’m not in a place to talk about this right now. I just need a minute to think.'” It’s amazing what a few deep breaths can do for a charged situation. I don’t like getting overly emotional in conversations, and I’ve found that this really is the best way to remain kind and compassionate while still acknowledging and owning up to your feelings. Sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m feeling even after taking a few minutes to think, but at least I’m in a better mental space to be able to discuss that with the person I’m talking to. If you also ask the person what their needs are in that moment, it helps toward diffusing the situation and coming to a common understanding.
I think my friend worded this desire for mutual understanding so perfectly in this one simple question: “How can I best support you right now?” Often, the other person may not even be aware that they are needing something until you ask, so this helps to reveal each others’ emotions in a calm and compassionate way. It’s crazy how easily relationships can be torn apart by something as small as a conversation, but it’s even crazier how a simple question can change everything. I’m so grateful to have friends who help me grow and develop in such beautiful ways.
I think I might have come to this conclusion, this truth, at some point in my life, but I’m so glad it was revealed to me before it became a pervading issue. Thank God I have so many generous souls surrounding me. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am truly blessed.
A friendly reminder to my beloved reader:
You are not your mistakes.
You are not where you’re from.
You are not worthless.
You are love.
You are light.
You are what you choose to be.
And if anyone hasn’t told you this recently, I want you to know that I love you, not despite the mistakes you’ve made or the trauma you’ve experienced, but because of it. I can truly say, from the bottom of my heart, I love you. Don’t you forget it.
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